I Said to My Boyfriend Ernie.....

I remember Bette Midler telling Sophie Tucker jokes in one of her first shows - Clams on the Half-Shell. I borrowed them real quick. They became staples on dreary Saturday nights around the ticket counter at Ottawa Airport. No matter how often I told them I knew the gang would explode in raucous laughter.

The all-time favorite on the OIA hit parade (told with appropriate holy roller gestures):

Soph and her boyfriend Ernie were listening to the Reverend Mr. Jones on the radio one night.

"I want you, I want you, if you believe in the healing power of the Reverend Mr. Jones, to put one hand on the part of the body that ails you. And the other hand on the radio and we will pray, we will pray for God's healing power!" hallelujahed the Reverend.

Soph was in a romantic mood so she put one hand on her heart and the other on the radio.

Ernie was a little more pragmatic, he placed one hand on his crotch the other hand on the radio.

Soph looked at him in dismay and said, "Ernie we are praying for healing of the sick, not resurrection of the dead!"

And we can blame tater for starting all this!