Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Grumpy Old Folks - I

So apparently this young pup of a grad student and some la-di-da physc prof are going around saying that us old folks lose our sense of humour as we get older. And they're basing this on reactions to, of all things, Ferd'nand cartoons!

Ferd'nand cartoons? Hell I didn't find them funny when I was 25 why would I find them funny at 60? And don't these guys read something other than the funny pages? Don't they read about the death and destruction everywhere? Global warming? Corporate corruption? Government irresponsibility? Don't they read Mary Worth? What the hell is there to laugh at?

And when it comes to a joke, hey I can still tell one with the best of them. Did you hear the one about the travelling farmer and the salesman's daughter?


tater said...

so's I'm layin in bed with my boyfriend, Ernie. Ernie says to me he says,
"Sophie," (cause he always calls me Sophie)
"you've got small tits, and a tight box!"

So I says to him, I says,

"Ernie! Get off My Back!!!"


Thank you folks, thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your server, and make sure you try the chicken wings...

tater said...

So my boyfriend Ernie was all excited and he says to me,

"Sophie, for my 80th birthday last week, I had me a twenty year old girl!"

So I says to him I says,

"that's nothin' Ernie, last week I had me a twenty year old boy, and believe you me, 20 goes into 80 a helluva lot more times than 80 goes into 20!"


Well drinks three dollars, drink up folks!

more cowbell said...

Oh yeah? Obviously the uninformed little twit hasn't met my Ex, who recently decided that Stand-up Comedian was a viable route of employment, between contracts overseas. And no, I am not joking. I wish I were. (He's also doing some free lance contracting, but has decided to use this opportunity to concentrate on his DJ skillz and comedy routines. WTF?) So there. Folks over 35 are too funny. Intentionally or not.

Tater, maybe he could fit you into his act?

Willym said...

Sophie and her boyfriend Ernie were out in the woods making love one night and Ernie said:
Soph, Soph I wish to God I had a flashlight!

Sophie said: Ernie so do I, 'cause for one half hour you been muchin' grass!

Willym said...

More cowebell: Dj and Stand-up. hmm.. well I guess that does broaden the job opportunity market to... three gigs a month!

Not good for child support

more cowbell said...

Willym: No, it's not. I may end up slinging coffee in addition to the 9-5.

So, what do toilet paper and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They both circle around Uranus wiping out Klingons.


tater said...


That was awesome! More Sophie Tucker Jokes Please! :)

lynette said...

well here i am, laughing my old fuck ass off at you all, and with nary a joke in my brain. i lack the gene for joke retention. i love them, but alas, no ability to hold on. i know bits and pieces of punch lines (as in "rats! big fucking rats, dicks thiiiiiis long (spread arms wide), balls as big as your fist), but the joke? just gone.

so this old fuck retains her sense of humor but doesn't like the funny pages. loves to laugh at humanity in a positive way, but doesn't like, much, the mean comics. loves political humor and laughs out loud at jon stewart, and, well, i'm old. i don't know.

in closing, more sophie jokes, please :-)

10 more days until wedding bells?

more cowbell said...

OK, Ladies & Gents, here's one for you:

3 dogs strike up a conversation while awaiting their turns at the vet.

1st Dog: What are you guys in for?

2nd Dog: Well, I'm a pisser. I piss on anything, dude, I just have to mark my territory. Table legs, floor, shoes, whatever, I'll piss on it.

1st Dog: Oh, man, what do your owners say?

2nd Dog: Well, I'm getting my nuts cut off today.

1st Dog: Dude, that's rough! [turns to other dog] What about you? What are you in for?

3rd Dog: Well, I'm a chewer. I chew anything, I just can't stop. Shoes, kids' toys, furniture, books, whatever, I just have to shred it. My owners say I need to calm down. I'm losing my nuts today, too, boys.

[other dogs cringe]

2nd Dog: So what about you, Rover, what are you in for?

1st Dog: Well guys, I'm a humper. I'll hump anything. Furniture, blankets, Grandma's leg, whatever, I just can't get enough. This morning my owner was getting out of the shower, bent over to pick up her towel, and dude, I just jumped right up on her back and started humping away.

3rd dog: Oh man! You've got it bad! So it's off with the nuts for you, too, huh?

1st Dog: Naw man, I'm just here to get my nails clipped.

Tip jar to the right.