Friday, June 29, 2007

Positive Spins Are Always Possible

An amateur genealogical researcher discovered that his great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription:

"Remus Starr; horse thief; sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887; robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives.
Convicted and hanged 1889."

In a Family History subsequently written by the researcher, Remus's picture is cropped so that all that's seen is a head shot. The accompanying biographical sketch is as follows:

"Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

I believe the researcher is now working for a major world government administration rewriting recent and current events.


tater said...

"George W Bush is an accomplished academic, a dynamic world leader, a good, God fearing christian, and a great dad."
--Tony Snow

on acid.



BigAssBelle said...

haha!!! tater put it perfectly. jiminy christmas! that's better than my family can do with what we've got to work with. kudos to the writer for . . . well, creativity, if not honesty. it's one thing to view the long distant past through romantic lens; quite another to flat out lie about things like, well, like george bush's intelligence, such as it is.

more cowbell said...

Holy Spin Doctors! Can he please write my resume?

laurent said...

Love it! too funny. We need more spin like that.