Monday, May 25, 2009

Lunedi Lunacy

This from my nephew Stephen and his wife Maureen:

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN
.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

25 maggio - San Beda il Venerabile

8 comments:

evilganome said...

This sounds about right.

flipstinger said...

all i'm going to sat is...thank god i'm not married nor involved to even have anything close to this situation you just described!

yellowdog granny said...

gladly im single and do my own bbqing...i'd last about 10 minutes in that relationship..ha..
also word to the wise..never ever ever volunteer to be a judge in a bbq cookoff, or a chili cookoff...unless you have a death wish..trust me..there is a reason why there is always a shortage of judges for cook offs..they know better..

Jacques said...

I'm sorry, but I always understood that correct BBQ etiquette called for the woman asking spontaneously if the man wanted a fresh, chilled, beer around points 3, 5, 7, and 8 (whilst staying attentive not to breach etiquette point 4, of course, which would put her in harm's reach from the dangerous flames and sparks and such).

If a man need ask, it is hardly etiquette, nay?

Sling said...

I'm glad the rules have finally been documented..
Avoids any misunderstandings.

Elizabeth said...

Ha! I am forwarding this to a number of women I know!

sageweb said...

This is very true..except change the man into the butch lesbian and it works perfect that way too.

more cowbell said...

Holy hell. You've nailed it. Willym. You dear, perceptive, sensitive, genius of a man.

I continue my cyberworship.