Thursday, July 15, 2010

An Agenda

I don't normally get too involved in the gay question perhaps because for me it is no longer a question. I am a man who has been actively "gay" since I was a teenager and "out" since I was in my early twenties. I have never been in the habit of making any bones about who or what I am.

I have been in a relationship with the same man for 33 years - many of the people around us have had two or three legal spouses in that same time frame - and later this month we will have been married for three years. I have been lucky in that I have not often run into "homophobia" amongst colleagues - oh of course there have been comments behind my back but "sticks and stones". I have been the target of one gay bashing many years ago and when I stop to think about it some workplace discrimination back in the late 70s. But I believe in many ways I've been very lucky. I have been in workplaces and communities where tolerance and understanding have been the watchwords and I live in a country which recognizes that my relationship is as valid as any other.

I was happy to see that Argentina has been added to the list of countries that have come to the same recognition. And, as always, I was intrigued by the comments on the CBC website news posting. Many were supportive and joyful while other took a decidedly opposite stand. Of course the matter of the "gay agenda" came up - as it always does. And I was delighted to see this reply from a woman in Ottawa who styles herself "Thinking Mother".
I'm gay and I do have an agenda. For all you out there who are so paranoid about the big gay agenda, here is what it is...

My agenda is to foster a compassionate and tolerant society where all people are free from oppression.

My agenda is to teach my children to judge people only on how they treat other people.

My agenda is to be able to behave in public the same way I behaved when I was in a heterosexual relationship - which means occasionally holding hands and not feeling too self-conscious about a small appropriate display of affection now and then.

My agenda is to be able to answer a co-worker's friendly question about my weekend without avoiding saying "we" or "she" or otherwise indicating that whatever I did was with my female partner.

My agenda is not to be hated simply because I fell in love with a wonderful woman who makes me and my children very happy.
It sounds like a reasonable agenda to me! And many thanks to Thinking Mother for putting it forth. I move that we accept the agenda. Do we have any seconders?

15 luglio

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Jenn Kleniewski said...


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Great post!

David said...

Just perfection. I will print it out forthwith ready to hand out to any who are either bigoted or (the more usual case) just a bit fearful. And what we need vs Bertone and the meraviglious Catholic church which has just, I see, equated women priests with paedophiles as 'grave sins' under Canonic law - but don't get me started again.

And I'd no idea you'd been together for 33 years. Makes our 22 seem a bit weedy

lynette said...

That is fantastic, Will. Love this. And yay! Argentina!!! And Yay!! You and Laurent, married 3 years!!!

Tater said...

Well said, and congratulations on your 33 years together!

Marc Olson said...

Well said. Thanks.

Pat said...

Sure - I second the motion! I'll gladly be a part of this gay agenda - she said it well - thanks for posting.


goddess bless.
i was raised in the military by 2 parents that had many flaws, but the one thing they did do was raise me to not judge.period. where everyone is someone that deserves equal rights and not to be judged by anyone.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Will. I agree with the not-so-hidden agenda.

I wonder if we can still get those toaster ovens for "recruiting" new gays and lesbians, however. That revelation, of course, was from Ellen Degeneres, who told her followers about the covert compensation for homosexual recruitment!

Happy anniversary to you and Laurent,


Elizabeth said...

What a wonderful response! I'd say that's my "agenda" too and, I would think, the agenda of any sensible loving human being.

Jamiel said...

never think about other perception..
Just live freely..