I'm Proud to be Canadian

I've always been proud of being a Canadian. This morning, at Rideau Hall in Ottawa, our black, straight, Haitian-born, female Governor-General, Madame Michaëlle Jean, will be investing a white, gay, New Brunswick-born, male clergyman, the Reverend Brent Hawkes, with our highest civilian award, the Order of Canada, for his contribution to the community and his activism on behalf of gay rights and same-sex marriage. Now that's diversity.

Today I'm feeling extra proud!

(Click on Brent's picture for a full news story courtesy of my buddy Gary.)

22 febbraio - Cattadera San Pietro

Done Deed - II

It's been a busy few days. After the events of the weekend - our wedding on Saturday, an Open House to say goodbye to friends on Sunday - we got into the serious business of moving on Monday. The past few days have been stressful and every so often Laurent and I have gone back to look at the photos from our wedding - just to stop each other from committing murder!

I thought we would share those photos with our friends and family, so just click on the picture above and it will lead you to the album.
Then its back to the move and mayhem and possible murder.

Done Deal*

Well I guess we in for the long term now. On Saturday past, after a 29 year "engagement", Laurent and I were married in a brief ceremony at our friend Joelle's home. I had hoped to get the vow exchange on video but that new camera would not cooperate. Stephanie, my niece, did manage to capture the last few seconds of the ring exchange.




Its been a busy time - Laurent coming home, getting last minute things arranged for the house sale, preparing for the move, the marriage ceremony, a "goodbye" open house yesterday - so it may be a few days before I have a picture album up for all to see.

*Apparently there was a problem with the video but I think I have it fixed now.

About Bloody TIme!

First follower: And will the veil of the temple be rent in twain?
Cult Leader: Well the veil of the temple is always dodgy.
The End is Nigh - Beyond the Fringe

Laurent and I will be exchanging our wedding vows at 1545 this afternoon in our friend Joelle's garden. And despite the warnings of various religious groups we hope that the veil of the temple will remain unrent and the family unit as we know it will not dissolve. That is not our intention - our intention is to consecrate our loving relationship of the past 29 years.

We decided that at this point we probably won't find anyone else to put up with us so why not make it legal. To be honest our original thoughts behind this step were based on legal and financial reasons; however as planning progressed the event has taken on a deeper meaning. We realize now that we are making a serious, spiritual commitment in the eyes of God, our family and our friends.

Many of our friends have sent good wishes via e-mail, snail-mail, blog comments and postings, flowers and telephone calls. It has been touching and both of us have found ourselves tearing up at the odd moment. A few have asked questions about the ceremony and a few have made lewd suggestions not appropriate to such a solemn occasion. So I thought I would post answers to some of them.

• The ceremony will be held in Joelle's garden - thank god its sunny and warm. Her son, our adopted nephew Andrew, suggested a lovely, shaded area surrounded by hedges - a perfect circle.


• We are a small group - Joelle, Blake - our oldest friend in Ottawa, our best friends Rick and John - who will be our witnesses, my niece Stephanie and Elaine, the Chaplain, make up the human contingent. The rest of the animal kingdom will be represented by our Reesie and Joelle's Riley, Tugger, the cat and two ferrets.


• Yes Reese will be there but not as a ring bearer, as evilganome suggested being a daschie he would probably eat the rings.


• The service is a short Unitarian ceremony Elaine, Laurent and I created and includes much from the Book of Common Prayer. Elaine is the daughter of a former colleague at Air Canada and her father was my Director at Transport Canada - the world is small.


• Our rings are the puzzle rings we bought in the Khan in Cairo in 1989 and have worn ever since. Laurent's is gold and mine is silver. They cleaned up real nice.


• Rick is reading the traditional passage from St Paul's letter to the Corinthians however as much as I love the language of the King James version the translation of caritas as charity rather than love has always bothered me so he will be reading a modern translation.


• Though we are not having flowers as such - no bouquets etc - we are bringing a beautiful arrangement Deb and James sent us from England and exquisite roses given to us by Molly and Dave over to adorn the table for the champagne after.


• We are having a small wedding cake after the service with champagne sent to us by Deb and James, Maria and Gordon and my colleagues at Transport Canada.


• There will be a small wedding supper at a local Bistro later this evening.


• And yes I did see my intended after midnight last night and in his usual spot - pillow on the right side.

At the beginning of the ceremony Laurent and I will be lighting a candle together. That candle is meant to represent our friends, family and colleagues who cannot be with us. To all of you who have sent us wishes in one form or another - you are part of that flame and you are very much with us in our hearts as we exchange our vows and make our commitment.

Proudly Canadian - a Day Late*

As a Canadian I am often self-deprecating when it comes to my home and native land - there you go, a tongue-in-check, typically Canadian phrase if there every was one. I take much for granted and while grumbling about what's wrong with Canada I often forget what is right.

Last week's cruise on the Ottawa River was a gentle reminder of the beautiful area I live in - one of many beautiful areas in a vast country. Yesterday's Canada Day celebrations were a reminder that we have so much to be proud of.

And as a gay man I was reminded twice this past week that I have many reasons to be thankful I am a Canadian.

I went to Ottawa City Hall on Friday and applied for a license for our upcoming (July 21) marriage. I mentioned to the lady processing our application that Laurent and I had been together for almost 29 years. As she gave me the license she said: Congratulations, I hope the next 29 years are as happy as the last 29.

Twice a year - New Year's Day and Canada Day - the Governor General announces a list of Canadians who have been awarded The Order of Canada - the highest civilian award my country can bestow. Amongst the names on this year's Canada Day list is Rev. Brent Hawkes, the senior pastor of MCC Toronto. Brent has been granted the title of Member of the Order for his work as a clergyman and a gay rights activist.

I didn't wear a T-Shirt proclaiming it yesterday, nor did I fly a flag from the second floor veranda but I am proud to be a Canadian.

*And if that ain't typically Canadian, what is? Eh?

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

According to a recent report from Statistics Canada men are more likely to suffer depression after a divorce than women. This soundly supports the theory that women are stronger then men – something I’ve never disputed.

The study began in 1994, before Same-Sex Marriage became legal in Canada (2003), and it’s based on statistics from straight couples only. Guess they’ll have to start again with same-sex couples.

Now that could produce an interesting set of statistics. As an example, in gender-defined relationships will the butch one be more depressed than the femme one when they split up. Or in a lesbian relationship will both parties simply move on while in a gay one both guys will become depressed, weepy and a burden to their friends who will have to listen endless repetitions of “I gave him the best week of my – sob - life!”

Hmmm… may have answered my own question right there.

Okay I may be taking this Rome thing a little to excess with Sedaka singing Breaking Up Is Hard To Do in Italian but.....