Its Only Words

A few months ago I discovered a weekly posting at The American Scholar by writer, journalist, editor, literary critic and, most importantly in my opinion, teacher William Zinsser.   Though to the best of my knowledge he has never addressed the subject of policies and procedures I was introduced to him during a Procedures Writing Course several years ago.  The professor insisted he was a "must read" for anyone planning to write "anything".   And what recommended him most was his insistence on the economy of language in writing.   It is rumoured that some teachers even tell their students to "Zinsser" their work (a newly coined verb meaning to take the clutter out of their essays).

Since then his On Writing Well has become one of those books that I return to almost yearly as a reminder that "writing improves in direct ratio to the number of things we can keep out of it.'" His Zinsser on Friday essays cover a broad range of subjects from baseball (one of his great loves) to jazz, from his WASPishness to his waspishness - and you'd be hard pressed to find an extraneous word - like extraneous - in any of them.

What brought Mr Zinsser to mind - and has me eager to unpack On Writing Well as soon as possible for another (much needed) read - was an e-mail from my friend Charlie highlighting some interesting facts about writing.

Pythagoras' Theorem:	24 words
Lord's Prayer (King James version):	66 words
Archimedes' Principle:	67 words
Ten Commandments (KJV):	179 words
Gettysburg Address:	286 words
American Declaration of Independence:	1,300 words
US Constitution including all 27 amendments:	7,818 words
EU Regulations on the sale of cabbage:	26,911 words

Having just gone through the EU export procedures for "live" animals - heaven only knows what they would be for "dead" animals - I am going to write Mr Zinsser and suggest that a book on writing policies and procedures is long overdue. And I want the concession for sales in Brussels!

23 agosto/August -Santa Rosa di Lima

Italian Cheese - and I Don't Mean Parmigiana

With my darling Blake, better known to Nicky and Nora as Uncle Pervy, in town I found myself in Centro today visiting oft visited but much loved sights here. I never cease to be amazed and delighted by the incredible perfect geometry of the Pantheon, the slight imperfections of Michaelangelo's Cristo della Minerva, the rush of water you hear just before you turn the corner to the Fontana di Trevi, that moment when an unsuspecting guest discovers the trick of the dome in Sant'Ignacio or entering a church like Santa Maria Maddalena that on other occasions has been shuttered and finding an amazing baroque organ loft.

But for every wonder there are things that have me making that funny sharp intact of breath sound that indicates I am displeased with something or scratching my head in bemused bewilderment. And within the space of a few minutes today I found myself doing both in the area of the Fontana di Trevi.

For some reason the city of Rome has allowed souvenir sellers to set up large stalls to the left and right in front of the Fontana. Aside from the fact that what is for sale is cheap and cheesy it blocks what should be an uninterrupted view of the wonders of the largest Baroque fountain in the city. It is said that back in 1751 Nicola Salvi made sure that an unsightly barber's sign, that a stubborn shop owner refused to move, was hidden behind a vase - only to have his grand design spoilt 250 years later by a hawker of Chinese-made plastic-marble replicas of his masterpiece. Whoever in the city authorized this should hang their head in shame and be made to stand full clothed in the Fountain while we throw coins over our shoulder at them.

And in looking at the wares for sale in a few of the souvenir shops that encircle the Fountain I really wonder if anyone buys any of this stuff - I can only suppose that as the shops continue to operate and the various tchatzkahs are displayed for our buying pleasure someone must. And who wouldn't want this lovely full length synthetic wool tapestry in their home as a reminder of their time in Rome? Just a hint - we are leaving in 9 months time and there will be a farewell party!!!!

10 novembre - San Leone Magno - Papa

At Least the Trains Run on Time (Sometimes)

Well I have often screamed "balls" while trying to make a booking and their website is definately a cockup so this may be close to the truth than the writer knew!

Many thanks to the remarkable Opera Chic for this one.

10 gennaio - San Pietro I Orseolo

Images of Athens

This distinguished looking member of the Orthodox clergy was sitting at the table near to mine at the Metropole Cafe in Cathedral Square this morning. I thought he had that sort of, at the least, Old Testament prophet look if not, at the most, "God the Father" himself from a few of the paintings I've seen around.

But I was not the only one impressed - an North American couple (that is the gentleman in white) of East Indian origin off one of the cruise ships were fascinated by him. There were some desperate attempts to communicate and some intriguing pantomimes and finally Spiros, one of the waiters was dragged into the little scenario playing out beside me.

"Tell him he has a divine look," the woman commanded in a tone that was not to be denied. "Tell him he's divine!"

The message was convey to the rather bemused clergyman who accepted it with a gracious nod - am I just imagining that his wife giggled a bit?

"We want his blessing," said the husband while making a vague sign of benediction in the direction of his wife and himself.

"No I want him to place his hands on my head," insisted the wife. "I want a proper blessing!"

Poor Spiros communicated this rather unusual request as the husband pulled the priest up to his feet, grabbed his hands and placed them on his wife's head. The priest muttered something in Greek - it could have been a blessing. Then repeated it for the man. The wife kissed his hand as did the husband and faces beaming they took their leave, turning to wave several times as they headed towards the Cathedral.


The priest sat down, gave me a "I'm not sure what just went on here" look and dipping his napkin in some water wiped off his hands. I am not at all sure he was that happy but there were two radiant people basking in the glow of his "blessing". And, no doubt, this evening, at dinner, they'll be recounting the experience to their table mates.

21 ottobre - San Gaspare del Bufalo

A Picture is ....

... (Often) worth more than 1000 words!

Thanks to Bev in Islamabad.

05 ottobre - San Placido

Language

As someone who struggles daily with another language I can sympathize.


Damn that Tower of Babel!

Many thanks to my friend Cathy for this one.

27 agosto - Santa Monica

Villach - Church Humour?

Villach is a strange little Austrian town close to the Italian border. As a Nazi hold out at the end of World War II it was subject to intense bombing and much in the city was destroyed. According to Wikpedia: the town was bombed 37 times by the Allies. About 42,500 bombs killed 300 people and damaged 85% of the buildings, nevertheless the city quickly recovered.

It's a pleasant town but there was really very little of great interest - an Austrian lady I met on the train to Udine was astounded I’d even spend a night there. However the Post Hotel had a remarkably good dining room and perhaps on something other than the Whitsun Monday holiday it would have been more active and attractive.

However the parish church of St Jakob was interesting if for nothing more than some unintentional humour.

Laurent’s first impression of the ceiling? It looks like pretzels!


Is it just me or do the two figures on either side of Christ seem to be pointing with a “He’s the Man!” attitude? Or am I just imaging things?


I know that the idea behind this pulpit is The Tree of Jesse but I kept thinking it may also be a comment on the quality of the sermons being preached from it. I'm not sure I would want to hold forth from a podium with a sleeping man under it, it could give parishioners ideas!



08 guigno - San Massimino

Stuffed Peppers, Anyone?

Despite the name I've been assured the food is exceptional.
Apparently this restaurant was indeed once a Taxidermist's. And Salvador Dali was one of their regular customers. One occasion as well as ordering a lion, a tiger, a rhinoceros for a show he was creating in the adjacent Plaza Real, he also ordered 200,000 ants! I'm still trying to figure out how you stuff 200,000 ants - and with what?

22 marzo - San Benvenuto

Hmmmm... Okay

There are some words that just don't belong together!



18 gennaio - Santa Margherita d'Ungheria