New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.
But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits.
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!
New Year's Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
*The cartoons here come from The New Yorker magazine and more can be found here.
December 30 - 1702: Queen Anne's War: James Moore, Governor of the Province of Carolina, abandons the Siege of St. Augustine.