A Thought

I can add nothing .... except that this is true of so many people that I love and care for....


Many thanks to Stephen for passing this one.

14 ottobre/October - San Callisto - Papa

When I Miss "Home"

Life as a foreign service spouse is pretty exotic - the places we've been, the things we've done. It really is beyond anything I would have every imagined growing up as a kid in a small community outside Toronto. It is an incredible and exciting experience.

But it has its downside. You are away from friends and family for long periods of time and though you keep in touch your lives run parallel courses. Sometimes it takes its toll on relationships but I've been fortunate that most of my friendships have remained firm through moves and shifts in locale and "home".

Being "away" has often meant missing great, and not so great, moments in friends lives - weddings, engagements, births, deaths, anniversaries, birthdays. Oh yes, you send flowers or greetings or make a phone call but ultimately you are missing in the joy - and the sorrow - of important moments in their lives.

Such a moment is happening in Ottawa tonight: in a few hours a dear friend who I have known for 30 years is taking another step in a life that has been varied, rich - at times bizarre - and rewarding.

When I first met Ross he had moved to Ottawa to become minister at the First United Methodist church. I will not go into the story of the many changes that I saw in his life over the following years - that would be an intrusion and deserves a story in itself - but eventually he left the church. The incredible gifts that he had as a preacher/teacher were put to use in the later capacity as he began to establish himself in the training and facilitating world. He had the gift to reach out to and in to people. His activities ranged from dealing with Armed Forces personnel to AIDS advocates and activists.

I remember when he announced, at one of our lunch dates, that he had met someone who he thought could become very special in his life. Given that Ottawa is a small town I should not have been surprised to discover that though I didn't know Albert personally, I knew of him and had worked with some of his family. And indeed Albert was that someone special. Sadly we missed their wedding last year but I can honestly say I could not have wished for anyone for my friend who was a better match. Again their story is a personal one and not the reason for this posting.

My dear friend Ross, soon to be "Father" Ross, and his spouse Albert, soon I guess to be the Vicar's wife?????

The reason for this rambling reminiscence of a lovely and loving friendship is that tonight Ross enters another phase of his life. Tonight the Bishop of Ottawa and priests from the diocese will lay hands on him and ordain him as a priest in the Anglican Church of Canada. Albert will be there and they will be surround by a host of loving friends and relations. I only wish that I could be amongst that congregation to first say goodbye to Ross and then embrace with all my heart "Father" Ross.

My dear friend, congratulations on the newest path in your life. I know you will travel it as you have traveled every road - with humour, love, devotion and with Albert as your support it will a happy, if challenging, time.

Love you with all my heart.


26 aprile - Santa Hope

Missing Things

Laurent and I lived in different cities for roughly 14 of the 30 years we've been together - which may well be the reason we are still together! That meant that often we were not together for events and occasions which most couples share. It was difficult for both of us.

People have said how terrible it must have been when my mother died and he could not come back from Jordan in time. Or when the decision had to be made to stop our Bundnie's heart. And to most people I guess those would be the obvious times that being apart would be difficult. Strangely those where not the times I missed him most. During those bad moments there were always friends and family to help carry the burden of grief, disappointment or even anger.

No it wasn't the bad times but the good where the feeling of loneliness was keenest. The not being able to share something wonderful that had happened. It could be something as momentous as the first time a training course I wrote was sold to another company - no profit for me but a bit of glory. There was no one to come home to and say: Hey honey break open the cheap bubbly! You'll never guess what happened at work today! It was at birthdays or holidays like Thanksgiving - Christmas is one holiday that we have never spent apart - that gathering with friends, though wonderful, wasn't quite enough. Or even simply yelling "Hey come here, you have to see this!" when you've found a piece of nonsense on YouTube that you wanted to share. Those are the occasions when being apart can be the hardest.

Fortunately we are no longer in that situation - and hopefully won't be again, though we said that once before and look what happened. But being out on posting means that we are missing celebrations and joyous events with friends and members of our extended family back in Canada.

In the past two months we have missed our friend Jean-Paul's 60th birthday party and our adopted-nephew Andrew's wedding to his beautiful Jessica. Both of which we wanted to be a part of with all our hearts. But distance and timing just make it impossible.

Sadly this weekend we are missing another joyous event and cause for celebration. Our friends Robert and Martin (that's them working in the kitchen during our holiday in Niagara-on-the-Lake back in 2002) are getting married on Saturday. As always they know how to throw a party! It will be a three day event at their place in Mont Tremblant. We'll be missing the pool party, a great reception and Sunday brunch but most of all we'll miss two of our good friends making a life-commitment to a relationship that began 10 years ago.

I know they will be too busy this weekend to see this posting but just in case they do. Robert and Martin, we love you very much and wish we could be with you and join in the celebrations.

And here's another picture from that week back in the summer of '02. Laurent (l), John, Martin and Robert get set to dig in on their night to cook.

Auguri e baci carini!

20 giugno - San Silverio