Lunedi Lunacy

Is it me or am I noticing some restraint this year in stores pushing the joys of giving for the holiday season down our throats? I have yet to hear a Christmas Carol peeling forth from the endless loops of Muzak that are meant to turn our minds to thoughts of giving; though my thoughts tend to to turn to various ways to the murder or at least dismemberment of the idiot who thinks that Celine Dion attempting to sing "O Holy Night" would move me to buy more than a good set of ear plugs.

Now that does not mean my thoughts have not turned to giving this year - a task that seems to get more difficult with the years. Not the actual giving but the choice of what to give.  Take for example the Hounds from Hell:  what do they need?  Bisques!  What do they want? Bisques!  What will they get?  Bisques! And in the case of Laurent what does he need? Not much. What does he want? Can't afford it! What will he get? Hey he's got me doesn't he?

I've always been more in favour of catalogue shopping than fighting the crowds that push, shove and generally behave like animals at feeding time in the Malls and shops as Celine once again replaces that written high G with the scream of a strangulated goat. With catalogues you browse at your leisure, order (either by phone or on-line) while sipping a hot chocolate, sit back and several days later the nice UPS person knocks at your door; your sign, unpack, wrap and hide.

In 1983 Al Hirschfeld created this almost Dionysian
Santa for the Neiman-Marcus Christmas Book.  Those
were the days when the Dallas store promised us the unusual
and surprising for Christmas giving.

 In the old fun days the Neiman-Marcus Christmas Book would hold most of the answers to what to give that would be fun, unusual and a surprise. Sadly the days of that once fabled purveyor of "only the best" offering a gold-plated toothbrush, a silver-handled champagne flute cleaning brush or a Monopoly game made entirely of chocolate are long gone. The generic catalogue now published by this once prestigious store is now no more than a glossy advertisement for various product lines and the surprises are few and very far between - even the cover, once the canvas for the work of Chuck Jones, Ronald Searle, Walt Disney, Victor Vasarely and Robert Indiana has now become another slick rip-off of Vanity Fair. Sic transit mercatum catalogum!

So what has this to do with Lunacy, you ask? You mean aside from the lunacy that will start in certain places come this Friday and can be guaranteed to carry through until early evening December 24th, abate briefly on December 25th and recommence with a passion on December 26th? Well I was thumbing through a catalogue from Museums of Canada and came across a little gem that if it showed up in my stocking would certainly suggest lunacy on the part of the giver.

A further description is available at the Museum Catalogue website - if one is really needed.

I'll take Recognizing Kangeroo Crap for $500.00 Alex!

November 19 - 1998:  Vincent van Gogh's Portrait of the Artist Without Beard sells at auction for US$71.5 million.