Today I remember especially four dear friends, three who I lost in the past year and one who's passing three years ago is as painful today as it was then. And it is my earnest hope and prayer that they are all in a place where sorrow and pain - physical or mental - are no more.
Three years ago my daring Ryan decided to leave us. Why he choose that path is still a question that nags at those of us who loved him.
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Deb and I met when I went down to Montreal to "look in" on a redesign project she was working on - five years later I left the project and retired to join Laurent in Poland. We were quite the team - all of us pretty much from "away," - Deb from London, Peggy and Anna from the Maritimes, Carla, Maggie and Anthony from Toronto, Esther from Vancouver and me from Ottawa. We formed a tight little group - first around Jennie, a madcap Australian, then briefly a very unmadcap Egyptian who didn't work well with women or gays (wrong group for you bucko) then with our Cathy. We had our differences - meetings could be drama ridden and I recall a few conference calls that had the wires burning up. But we produced a damned good product and more important we had fun and enjoyed each other as co-workers and as friends.
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I was with her the day she celebrated two years of being cancer-free - we had returned to Montreal for a reunion and the day was spent having corned beef at Schwartz's, picking up 20 dozen bagels with Anthony at St Vitar, quaffing wine in Old Montreal and dinner with the gang at a wild Vegetarian restaurant Gillian had chosen.
She met me at Heathrow the morning after she had been told the cancer was back. We were going to the tea at the Savoy and the Panto at the Old Vic. That was four years ago and on a train ride into London two years later - another Panto trip - she confided that at the initial diagnosis she had been given two years, three at the most but she had every intention of beating the bastard!
She fought a long hard battle and I honestly believe that she wasn't defeated nor did she surrender. She made peace. Nowhere was that more apparent than on the day this past spring when we all gathered to say goodbye. Deb I miss that twinkle and that grin.
In the Foreign Service there are people who come into your life for a brief time and then are heard of no more other than as names on reports or posting lists. Then there are the others! People who keep showing up like bad pennies - like Steven and Betty Jean Culley. Okay they aren't bad pennies, far from it but you get the idea. We had been together in Warsaw back in the late 1990s and we had corresponded sporadically over the next few years. They were preparing to leave Rome for Damascus as we were arriving and they were our first dinner guests after our arrival. And it was at that dinner that Steve told us that he had been undergoing cancer treatment but had been give the all clear. We broke open a bottle of grappa to celebrate. Sadly our celebration was short lived - Steve and BJ came back several months later for his check up and the cancer had reappeared. And they were going to stay in Rome for a while so his treatment could be resumed.
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The evening before they left for Canada I spoke with Steve - we were suppose to go out for dinner but he had a long journey ahead of him and had to conserve his energy. He sounded tired but at the same time exhilarated that he was going home. I know at that point as we said goodbye he knew what was coming but the last thing he said was: Its been a slice. And he gave that laugh. Two months later when Betty Jean's e-mail arrived I knew that his laugh had been silenced. Stephen I miss your laugh.
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But none the less we were friends - actually his wife Sharon (who worked with us) and I were, at one time shift spouses i.e. we worked the same shifts and saw each other more often than we saw our real spouses. Frank and I were almost direct opposites: he was as straight as they come - I .... wasn't; he was a devout Catholic - I was a lapsed Anglican; he was a die-hard right winger - I was born a lefty; he was a company man - I worked as a Union rep. So we were never at a loss for things to "discuss" - and sometimes those discussion could get heated. There were times when after the heat came the cool, almost icy, but it never lasted.
Frankie took sick after I had left for Italy and I got reports of his condition from our mutual friends. Once again it was cancer and he underwent treatments which I know were wearing on body and soul. It was a long battle that, being very private people, Frank and Sharon endured quietly. When the news of his death arrived two months ago I greeted it, as I had with Deb and Steve, with a mixture of relief and sadness. Frankie I will miss our "discussions" no damned it our arguments.
I know that this day is a remembrance of all Souls who have departed this earth but today I think of four of them in particular and in my heart pray that they are in a place "where sorrow and pain are no more!"
02 novembre - Commemorazione dei Defunti
7 comments:
Big Hug for you..so sweet.
will light candles and send up prayers for your friends..big ole fat texas hugs from me to you.
*hug*
so many people know all too well how the cancer has touched so many ... my adopted grandfather, adopted aunt, natural father, natural sister, some of my close friends have been touched by it too ... scary thing is, I've battled it too and lost frank and some other friends to it, even in my short time around here ... but, hopefully, six years this january it's not around ... my thoughts go out to all those who are still battling, and maybe one day it'll be more than cureable ... but defeated ... never to put harm or suffering on anyone else or their family or their friends ...
God bless those who have been touched far too often by it ... God bless those who are still touched by it ... and God bless everyone ...
argh ... christmas is over 60 days away ... isn't it?
heehee
i still have my sense of humour ...
Missing those still ... and hoping that it's not around me still ...
2 dogs
David Smith
"old" friend of william ... of course, aren't we all?
Carpe Diem
Ad Perua ad astra
*hug* to everyone ... :)
oops ... given that i'm somewhat akin to the Canadian Air Force, I'd know what their latin motto is ...
my apologies ...
PER ARDUA AD ASTRA ...
From Adversity to the Stars ...
Regards,
2 dogs
David Smith
We lost a number of staff this year as well, including five in the guesthouse in Kabul this past week and the five in the WFP in Islamabad a few weeks ago. There were the souls who were killed in the attack on the PC Hotel in Peshawar and the list goes on... I knew some, others not. Nevertheless their loss continues to remind me that I have a reason to live life to the fullest every day. I pray for their souls and for all of the people who are affected by such tragic events.
Lovely sweet, sad post, dear. Hugs to you.
Willym, I particularly remember your past writings on Ryan and Deb.
Sending good thoughts for your well remembered friends.
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