Lunedi Lunacy II

I just got this from my friend Naomi and I have to share it:

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on....If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

10 agosto - San Lorenzo

Lunedi Lunacy

Back in the middle of the last century, when I was a small Willym (oh grow up!), Saturday afternoons meant Kids' Matinees at the local movie theatre. Every Saturday, a whole dime and a nickel jingling freely in my pocket I would head down to the Royal Theatre (fondly known as the Royal Rat Trap after an incident involving a scampering rodent of some sort, Harry Simmons' foot and his sister Doreen's loud scream.) Because it meant going through a large open field area and across the main train tracks we always went as a gang - Judy, Teresa, Eddie, Davey, Sharon and I. It was okay to walk down with the girls but of course the minute you reached the cinema you only stayed with them if you wanted to risk taunts of "Billy's got a girlfriend!"

For that dime you got God Save the Queen with a grainy, line streaked Trooping of the Colours, a cartoon, a travelogue, News of the World and two sometimes three features. Usually a western - Roy or Gene or Hoppy - maybe a horror movie - the Gillman was a great favorite, and a comedy. At least once during the afternoon the movie would be stopped and a booming voice would suggest death and destruction if "you kids don't quiet down!" For the nickel you got a watery Orange Crush and really salty popcorn. And if you hadn't spent that nickel the week before you could go for broke and get butter on the popcorn and a candy bar.

The comedy might be Frances the Talking Mule, Ma and Pa Kettle (my least favorite,) The Bowery Boys or Abbott and Costello. Bud and Lou were my favorites. Their routines were funny no matter how silly the situation and it wasn't until years later I realized they were old vaudeville and burlesque sketchs that the two of them had polished to perfection over the years. At 10 you don't realize the work that goes into making something funny - its just funny!



"Slowly I Turned" probably has its origins in the comedies of ancient Rome but it was a standard of any respectable burlesque comedian in the days of the circuit. Lou performs it here with one of the great second bananas Sid Field. I honestly don't believe anyone ever did it better. And by the way that's Sid as the lawyer in a piece of film trickery.

30 giugno - I Martiri Proromani